battttlllee.....ROYALLLEEEE

So I have a lot of things i wanna write about but I'm fairly lazy and can't really remember them all, but i'll have a try

As you all should know I'm still in Japan!!! I'll put some links at the end of this thing for places i've been to if you wanna look at...places I've been to. As expected its a very very good experience; but it does feel like i've been here forever now, time is not flying by as I expected it to! I come back on 4th June so another month and a bit to go! I'm about halfway through the whole thing now

So for the first 4 weeks as my pictures detail I was doing a lorra lorra travelling around with the O'Weewees and I got to go to some interesting places like the Kyoto Temples and the Nara...Temples; I also got a pass to Universal Studios Japan so i can return now for free whenever I want (in the next year)- this is good because its a 20 min train journey away. However, it appears the ride connections are quite loose and extremely dated- the newest ride is a ride for Spiderman that came out around the time Spiderman 2 did? Amongst this ride include a Back to the Future TWO ride, a Waterworld ride, a Jurassic Park log flume, a Jaws ride, and a lot of Snoopy stuff. Timely.

The cherry blossoms also (for lack of better word) hatched around 2 weeks ago but they only last about a week and a half so we went to a couple of places involving these. One of these places had a massive carboot; so if some of your gifts look worn in, that'll be why.

One of the most interesting places was Kids Plaza which is essentially for children. But its cool and you can stand inside a bubble. How many of you have stood inside a bubble? Exactly. The Pokemon Centre is cool too; expensive stuff in there though- fail.

As expected I'm missing everyone at least half as much as you are me, so congratulations; and I am excited to return home. However, I'm still loving my time here and it's still fun fun fun!

OH and I got a job!!! (sort of). I'm working in 3 different classes at that school thats name i've forgot but its on my facebook so look there for it. It's an international school so the kids are from urrywher, from Korea to India to New Zealand and some other places in the world that exist. Its only for 2 days a week but thats due to budgeting; they can't pay me coz i'm a volunteer and i don't have a visa and would thusly be deported or something like that, so I can only afford 2 days a week really. It's very very very good and rewarding and all that jazz.

So yeah here are some places I've been, this blogs a bit of a letdown but I can't really think of what to write! I'm having fun and miss everyone that's basically it and i've dragged that out to like 5 paragraphs so deal with it.

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e4002.html

http://www.osaka-info.jp/en/search/detail/sightseeing_3176.html

http://translate.google.co.uk/translate?hl=en&sl=ja&u=http://www.pokemon.co.jp/gp/pokecen/osaka/&ei=dSy1TZCRJ4O4vQOtvpCjBw&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CEIQ7gEwBA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dpokemon%2Bcenter%2Bosaka%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1R2GGLL_en-GBGB367%26prmd%3Divnsm

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3908.html

http://www.kaiyukan.com/language/eng/

http://www.oyis.org/

These are some of the places i been and done to.

Enjoy!
Also check out "Simpsons drawings i gone and done" or something to that extent on facebook. My new hero.

X

OH and another thing (columbo fail), Johanna may be joining me for a week or two so i have that to look forward to!!!!

The 30 Day Song Challenge- Condensed!!!!

So, as I don't have 30 days left in Engrand (I'ma go Japan in 10 days!!!!) I thought i'd whack all this out in one, coz it looks like fun.

day 01 - your favorite song- Bette Davis Eyes (Kim Carnes)

I couldn't tell you why though, I remember Laura Gill sending it to me via MSN about 5 years ago and I listened to it on repeat for about 3 days, and I can still listen to it over and over. But I don't know why- I don't even know what the balls its about.

day 02 - your least favorite song- The Decision (The Young Knives)

As I've mentioned in past blogs, not a big fan of the lyrics in this one. At the same time though it brightens our day when it plays at work (it's on the JD playlist), but I still can't help but think- who MADE this song? Who thought this was a good idea! If you listen to ANY of the 30 songs on this, let it be this one. It's terrible.

day 03 - a song that makes you happy- Misery Business (Paramore)

Not in a gimpy, emo way. But it symbolizes triumph in my college years- moving on from something I never thought I would and realising that I was the one calling the shots all the way through the dilemma! It was part of my daily routine to make myself realise I'm BRILLIANT.

day 04 - a song that makes you sad- Adam's Song (Blink 182)

For pretty obvious reasons. Some dude kills himself, sings about it. It's not a song that makes me so sad I can't listen to it, it's one of my favourite songs, but for the reason that it's sad! However, not a great party starter. Unlike my next hit.

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone- Like a G6 (Far East Movement)

At this current moment in time it never fails to make me laugh, for its pure badness- and it reminds me of someone who I consider to be my comedy equal. That came out a LOT MORE BIGHEADED THAN ITS INTENDED TO BE. Who cares, I'm slizzered.

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere- Dallas Theme

This is a weird one...unless you went to college with me. This song will forever be in my head, heart, and i suppose ears, as the theme to the Graphics Crew- the best year of my life, the second year of college! Whenever I hear this song it will remind me that I have an entire year of my life documented in comedy films, all accompanied by this song. And thats something J.R and the gang will NEVER ACHIEVE.

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event- Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Daft Punk)

It may not have been Leeds, because...well we couldn't get tickets, but it's my first and only festival event and nothing will really top the feeling of being smashed, dehydrated, underage in a field full of mud and human feces, listening to some European...well...whatever Daft Punk are.

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to- Barbra Streisand (Duck Sauce)

Unless I'm drunk when it becomes "Barbra Subsidised"

day 09 - a song that you can dance to- Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) (Beyonce)

I'm aware I'm not doing myself any favours with this one, but when i'm SLIZZERED I think I'm the next best thing to Beyonce. And how many times have a crowd gathered around you and Frankie when dancing to this song? DIDN'T THINK SO MATE.

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep- The Simpsons Theme

Only because I tend to put the Simpsons DVD's on when I go to bed. It's not a case of instantly falling asleep anytime I hear the theme song, like some kind of specific narcilepsy.

day 11 - a song from your favorite band- Miss You (Blink 182)

For some reason, despite going through "that" phase and going to Caff every Thursday etc, I never really got into Blink 182 until recently...but I like them. And i like this song.

day 12 - a song from a band you hate- Panic! (The Smiths)

Hates a very strong word, I don't really hate The Smiths I just never made any kind of deep meaningful connection to their music...and I find his voice whiny. I much prefer Neil Morrissey.

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure- It's Over Now (Big Ang)

It's like mid-90's mild clubland, but I could listen to it over and over! Plus her names Big Ang which makes her sound like some kind of crew cut darts playing mega lesbian.

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love- Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

This was a tough one, as I have the worst most varied taste in music ever. I just went for this because it's in my top 5 songs of all time (how UNIQUE of me), and people usually expect it to be beaten out by Just Dance or something like that.

day 15 - a song that describes you- Riverside (Sidney Samson)

I went for this song because it's repetetive, funny and annoying after a while.

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate- Chillin (Wale ft. Lady Gaga)

For some reason, this song is in my Top 25 most played on Itunes, despite the fact Wale is an arrogant prick with no dissernable talents. And Gwaggz barely does anything in this song, she isn't even wearing meat or killing a resteraunt full of people with one third of Destiny's Child. "They keep call me Whale but my name Wa-lay" Nobody calls you anything because nobody knows you, you fuck.

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio- Africa (Toto)

Along with Phil Collins, Wish FM lap this bollocks up. However, I do like this song. So i don't really mind- I'm not entirely sure what its about it...it doesn't seem to mention...Africa. Except for the bit about Africa.

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio- Surfin Bird (The Trashmen)

I can imagine if i had a radio station I'd play this song at least once an hour to increase the rates of suicide amongst scrubbers in Wigan.

day 19 - a song from your favorite album- Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)

Ima finally play the Gwaggz card. It's the first album i've ever owned where I've liked every single song enough to listen to them over and over. And I'm very picky, there's usually one I don't like. I got the Mumford and Sons album last week...am I supposed to like them? It's BORING.

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry- Down with the Sickness (Disturbed)

Because I'm a death metal emo prick.

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy- We R who we R (Kesha)

Knocking my musical prestige down even further but Ke$ha is doing a bang up job of making us teens/early 20's dance and love getting smashed and dance. And I for one, applaud her. I think Susan Boyle could learn a thing or two. If she had auditioned with Tik Tok, Diversity would've just handed first place over to her.

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad- A place called home (Kim Richey)

Despite the fact you've basically asked me this question already, I'll re-answer it. This song is a nice country song that relaxes me? Yeah, we'll stick with that.

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding- Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into an emotional mess. I want this song to be played when I walk in, and every time I walk into a room following my initial entrance. I also want it to be played so loud it drowns out anything anybody but myself says at the event.

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral- Fields of Gold (Eva Cassidy)

Because if they play Lady Gaga i'll get out the coffin and switch it off myself.

day 25- a song that makes you laugh- Bed Intruder Song (Antoine Dobson)

He's climbing in your windows, he's snatching your people up...
Best. I wish I was that flamboyant and eccentric when it comes to the tragic happenings of a close person in my life. ITS OBVIOUS WE HAVE A RAPIST IN LINCOLN PARK.

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument- When the Saints Go Marching In

I can play this, badly, on keyboard. I can also play one of the many classics from Cockney Watchdogs albums 1 through 5.

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play- What's my name (Rihanna)

Only because I just listened to it, and I think it would make a good acoustic cover. Can you tell I've grown VERY weary of this stupid 30 songs lark now?

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty- Don't Stop Believing (Glee Cast)

I know full well the Journey version is better, and will always be. But WHY DO I LISTEN TO THIS VERSION MORE OFTEN?

day 29 - a song from your childhood- Come on Eileen (I don't even remember)

I used to love this song as a toddler/whatever comes after toddler. I vaguely remember thinking it was about Eileen, the manager of Hindley Swimming Baths. In hindsight the fact that as a young child my favourite song was about a man pressuring a woman for sex just set my horrible disturbing descent into madness up didn't it.

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year- United States of Pop 2009 (DJ Earworm)

I basically played this song on repeat for about 4 months, as it features a lot of other songs, and we all know wheres I stands on remixes. Listen to it, and the 2010 one, they're very good. If you like remixes.

DONE! That was boring. I imagine it was boring to read

Life Update: Saturday is my last shift at JD Sports! I'll write more next week before I jet off, explaining my plans, but yeah, Ima miss everyone dearly as they are my closest friends aside from a few special (and i mean SPECIAL...not in a nice way) people outside the job. I leave the country on 20th March, and I will be returning on 4th June...cannot waaait!!!!

Sorry I wasted your time.

xxx

My Favourite Song Lyrics

I enjoy the way songs are being written these days; poorly. Infact, its been going on for a while- so here are some of my favourite song lyrics from memory.

Britney Spears' "Womanizer": (As I'm reading through the lyrics, the whole
song is pretty awful, but this stands out moreso!)
"Maybe if we both
lived in a different world, it would be all good and maybe I could be your girl,
but I can't, cause we don't"
Basically what BRITS is saying here is
"If this was a different world we'd be dating! But we can't date...because we're
not in a different world".

Black Eyed Peas' "The Time (Dirty Bit)"
"I was born to get wild, that's my style! If you didn't know that,
well baby, now you know now"
Classic Fergie. Just incase William or Appleman or the Monkey looking one
didn't understand, she is referring to the PRESENT, the now.

The Young Knives' "The Decision" (Again, this song literally could be the worst written song of all time, so I've put several of these down for comedy value. Really, sheer awful)
"I was a difficult child, I was a difficult child. I was abstract and mild"
"I am the Prince of Wales. I am the Prince of Wales. And if all else fails, I am the Prince of Wales"
"The horses in the new forest are running in their Sunday best"
The entire song is really bad. These are just a select few that I have selected, so now you know now

Far East Movement's "Like a G6"
"Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard. When we drink we do it right, gettin slizzard"
As far as I'm aware, in my 12 years of studying English Language, the word Slizzard has never come up before. Oh right, that's because it isn't a word. They could've quite easily put some kind of Wizard based reference, for example
"Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard, then Dumbledore said Harry, you're a wizard"

Frankee's "FURB"
"F**k what I did, it was your fault somehow"
Frankee really brought her A-game to this song, defending her actions after cheating on Eamon.

Rihanna's "Umbrella"
"Coz in the dark, you can't see shiny cars"
As the title aptly suggests, this song is about Umbrellas. It has no other references to the black of night, or automobiles

M.I.A's "Paper Planes"
"Some some some some some I murder...some I let go"
Shutup, you girl-prick

50 Cent's "Wanksta"
"Coz we don't go nowhere without toast"
It's so rare these days to catch Fiddy without a crisp slice of Warburtons...

This is all I can come up with for now, but mail me some suggestions if you find anymore terrible, terrible lyrics. Other than this, nothing is really happening. JD. I have my plane ticket for JAPAN booked though, so that's a big plus.

Enjoy your searches for terrible lyrics, I'm sure you won't have to look far. Britney's really quite good for it.

2010 in Photos!

January- Awoke in my own vomit on a bathroom floor, on NYD 2010. Fail. This picture is from Andrea's late 20th birthday party, at Deansgate, with a shedload of beautiful ladies and 1 very sexy Chinese girl

February- Other than Piper's birthday, depicted above, I don't remember anything. At all. Hair's getting long though isn't it! Because I can't remember anything, I've wikipediad Feb 2010 and these are some highlights:

• February 2010 was the second month of that year. It began on a Monday and ended after 28 days on a Sunday.


• Pop singer Beyoncé Knowles wins the most awards at the 52nd Grammy Awards, winning six of her ten nominations including Song of the Year for "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)", and becoming the first woman to win six awards in the same night

March- Apparantly, this night out happened. All i remember is there were some kinds of Vodka Jelly, and I chipped Rachel's tooth. And Camille was apparantly there. Meanwhile, after a timely 72 hours or something like that, Frankie gave birth to a child, Hendrix! Well done Frankie. Well done.

April- Frankie decided to welcome Hendrix into the Catholic faith. The priest, however, had other ideas, referring to him as Hendric; and he must have forgotten to set Desperate Housewives to record or something because he plowed through the entire thing in 10 minutes and ran off. Steph, who's holding him in this pic, is also now preggers. Congratulations!!!!

May- "Beach Weekend" occured, one of the contenders for "best weekend of year". It started with a lovely cosy bonfire at Ant's on the Friday, then me, Rick, Ant, Johanna and Piper set off to the Beach on Saturday, amazing lazy day (but I left something of importance...that i ironically can't remember what it is now), and then we went to a 21st birthday that night too, worked Sunday, then lay on a field in the sunset. Literally 1 weekend and i remember every detail, but I remember nothing else about May. But did you KNOW:

• Johnson & Johnson announces the recall of 43 over-the-counter medicines intended for infants and children, affecting the United States and nine other markets
  
  

June- I spent most of June with Ayler and Nami my Nephew and Niece, knowing they'd be leaving for Japan in July. Such events included Gullivers World, Toy Story 3 (although I think these things happened in July...). I have no recollection about June, here are some famous Junes:

• June Whitfield (Actress)
  
• June Brown (Actress, Dot Cotton in Eastenders)


• Juno (Pregnant sassy teen)
  
  

July- Ayler and Nami, and Brendan and Akiyo, left to return to Japan. :'( sob. 20th Birthday party consisted of going to Wigan in fancy dress, as Meg Griffin. People didn't know I was in a costume, which is disheartening. Stayed out all night, went to the Brockett for Breakfast at 7 am. Beautiful evening.

August- Thanks to Rik and Ian, Music on a Barge was attended by all. Johanna "I'm not High Maintainance" Edgerton, pictured above, fell out with us all because we had to walk 10 minutes home in the rain.

September- I couldn't find any pictures from September, so here's one of 2008 X-Factor Contender Ruth Lorenzo, that was for some reason, still on my computer. All i remember is that everybody started leaving JD, and Johanna started Uni. Nami turned 2!

October- Halloween in Liverpool; who knows where we ended up, or what costumes we were in. However, it was a thoroughly entertaining evening. The rest of October, was probably ok too. Ayler turned 6! Here are some facts about Halloween:

• Historian Nicholas Rogers, exploring the origins of Halloween, notes that while "some folklorists have detected its origins in the Roman feast of Pomona, the goddess of fruits and seeds, or in the festival of the dead called Parentalia, it is more typically linked to the Celtic festival of Samhain, whose original spelling was Samuin (pronounced sow-an or sow-in)".[1] The name is derived from Old Irish and means roughly "summer's end".[1]
  

November- This pictures from December, but I had none. I got my hair cut finally, and besides this I remember very little. My year in pictures isn't very successful. Think of the most wild, crazy, interesting thing you can. Got one? Ok, i did that in November.

December- I have never drank Wine properly before. In 2 days of this month, i made it through roughly 7 bottles. Merry Christmas. December was quite fun, but it always is, what with Christmas shopping and all. A tram hit Coronation Street.

I hope your years were more eventful than mine.

xxx

Tronsha Goddard

This is overdue, but TRON was awful. Pure, pure awful. It was about 2 hours of blue lights and terrible acting. However, it was good to see Alan Bradley back in something, I could've sworn that tram finished him off in the 80's but he came bouncing back!

(There was a character called Alan Bradley in Tron, if you hadn't guessed. RITA)

Meanwhile, Christmas occured! It wer good, I got some gifts, so if you were the bearer of said gifts, cheers. My highlight is that my Wii Mii Character is designed after Maude Flanders (obviously. I think I might end up on a list some day) and I won her on Mario Kart Wii! It's mental.

So if that paragraph didn't sum it up, 2010 was a really boring, terrible year. Well, not boring. There were some highlights, like that time we went the beach and my (sorry, Ants), birthday, then some Christmas Buildup etc; but they were very few and far between! Not to be all doom and gloom, it was just rubbish. I enjoyed the people and stuff, infact it was probably one of the best years in terms of defining my friendships, just circumstances failed! New Year's eve was quite fun though, going to a friends friends boyfriends house party, felt a bit like an American TV Show, which was all good and that. No red plastic cups though, that was a lacking quality. It was enjoyable and I got to spend it with a couple of amazing people. Queer.

However, 2011 is setting up to be alright- I have a plane ticket booked for JAPAN! Woo! March-June I'm jetsetting off so I'll be writing you from Sunny Old Asia, what a treat for you all. A real, real treat. And then, I'm going to (surprise surprise) try and go to University! And stay.

This is basically it, Jo's on the phone to me about Jeremy Kyle. Has anyone got any good new years resolutions for me? Think of some, it'll be nice.

I'll talk a bit about Boxing Night First. If you've seen my costume, you'll be aware that I got it when i was drunk, which explains why its just a series of colourful things. I don't particularly remember much else, my first drink was a pint of wine which sums up where the evening went really doesn't it. My mum thought I was having a vicious argument with myself because of my loud, loud vomiting (if you haven't heard it, facebook Richard Surples, he has about 400 videos of it, because it entertains him and others to no end). I don't really remember going home or anything, or any stand-out event from the night. Rick just made a cake too, so look at that aswell if you're there.

Yes, this is all now. I think I'm going to do a "My Year in Pictures" thing in a minute, so you know, stay tuned and all that. And to everyone involved in my 2010, thanks...I think. If you're worth it, see you this year!!!!

AULD LANG SYNE EVERYONE
Here's a picture of my friend Paul's face.

Why People are the worst thing about the world (Part Two)

Wow, Christmas really brings out the BEST in people. Especially the elderly; I'm not sure if its whether they know they haven't got long left, or just the cold weather traps all entry to their hearts, but they really are CRUEL!

So, back by "popular demand", here are some other things that people have done the last week to royally piss everyone off:

• Don't you FUCKING dare whistle for my attention again. I am neither a) a pet or b) a sexually appealing woman walking past a construction site


• "Can I have the most popular shoe you sell in the most popular size, 3 days before Christmas?" (note the lack of PLEASE AND THANKYOU). "No, sorry, we've sold out now"
  "WHAT! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! HOW CAN THAT HAVE POSSIBLY HAPPENED! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME AT THIS SHOP! THIS SHOP IS TERRIBLE"
  Ok, I'm going to stop you there, "sweetheart", first off, ITS CHRISTMAS. It happens EVERY YEAR. It isn't a new, last minute event, that you had no idea about. And the reason your fat, ugly son wants these shoes is because EVERYBODY ELSE IS WEARING THEM. Surely, thats a clue that they're probably going to sell out! Why don't you ask Father Christmas for them and when he gives you the same fucking answer, throw a nervy B at him. Alternately, try your hand at some parenting, find out what your offspring want in advance, like everyone else, I'm sure you can put the crack pipe down for 5 minutes to talk to them


• This is just one specific event, but a little girl brought a toy whistle in yesterday. And proceeded to whistle every 30 seconds, for roughly 45 minutes. She single handedly pissed every single staff member off, and obviously, being like, 3, didn't realise it. I'll tell you who could've done something- her parents. Her sulky, fucking parents. I don't blame the girl, she doesn't know what she's doing really- but if you let her blow that whistle again I'll ram it down your neglectful throats.


• The line "They're for my kids" isn't a trigger phrase to magically make shoes appear in the size you want, THEY STILL AREN'T HERE.


• "Have you got these in Blue, in a 6" "No, just the colours that are out", "Well they had them in _____". Yeah, everytime I go to Tesco, I do a "practice shop" first, decide what I want exactly, but then leave the shop and go to a different Tesco to buy the products. That's how shopping works, isn't it.


• Don't come into a shop I've worked in for some time, and TELL me what we sell. If i say "Sorry we don't sell those". WE DONT SELL THEM. I'm not some kind of Piss poor JD Grinch trying to ruin Christmas for your family.


• This is pretty much a given, but don't threaten to "come back for me if it's not there", after I've spent 20 minutes of my time on the phone to another shop, reserving a shoe for you.


• "Do you stock ______". "No sorry" "Well do Sports Direct?"
  "Do you stock that new "The Saturdays" record, HMV?" "No sorry" "Well do CEX"
  Unless you have a mental deficiancy, you should be aware that the world is not one big shop. There are many different ones, with different stock. Also, I'm not your bitch.

This is basically all I can think of now. But its pretty clear to see this Christmas has angered me somewhat. A sidenote would be that a decent 25% of the customers are very pleasant to serve, and understand the rules of social conduct. So to them, I thank you greatly, and merry Christmas.

And to every one else, Ho Ho Hang yourselves.

x

I want a new driving wedge...I would like more Lemon Pledge

It's so difficult to write these things when there is literally NOTHING happening in your life...but i'll give it a crack!

You know when's a good time to cut all your hair off? ANY TIME BUT THE COLDEST TIME OF YEAR. Also, hats now make me look like an unfortunately proportioned child.

Winter 2010, it's alright I guess. Snow is a pain in the arse though isn't it girls! I've come to the conclusion that the more magical something looks, the more likely you are to die in/because of it. For example, "Wow (insert a friend's name of your own choosing here), look at that mythical dragon over there!", and the next thing you're on fire. Or like, a mystical looking man with a long flowing beard and a cape- less likely to take you under his caring wing and more likely to rape, beat and kill you, leaving you in an alleyway. So you know, heed my words, avoid the elderly and dragons...and snow.

I had a fun Mad Friday. I've always avoided going into Wigan on mad friday because i have this irrational phobia of being murdered outside of Bentleys coz i loked at someones "bird" funny. But this year I thought, its worth the RISK, because I'm really, really bored. So i dolls myself up, meet Mel and Laura, and everything is going swimmingly. And then Jack Frost just fucks everything up doesn't he! But to be fair, I did the following things

• Tried cherry beer
• Danced in the snow
• Made it into someone's bedroom
• Got slightly drunk
• Danced in the street
• Tried to stop cars to give us a lift
• Phoned for a taxi
• Bought someone some "going home" food
• Got a free sausage
• Stood covered in snow at a bus stop in an unfamiliar place, alone

And I didn't even make it to Wigan! All these things are basically what I do anyway, but usually there's a lot more "AAHAHGHGH" and then "BLEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH", and sometimes, apparantly, I lick people's foreheads....

I went furt Franco's last night, and there was some noisy bitch on her works do. You can take the girl out of Wigan...but you'll still fucking hear her there. The meal was nice, and I discovered some fascinating trivia about a group of 30 somethings that are clearly past the point of screaming "SAMBUCA!" at waitresses. Seriously, we would have had a classier evening at a Gypsy Hen Do.

I have another complaint about JD! Who the HELL decides what music goes on that Mp3 thing? It's really, REALLY bad. Like, who actually writes those songs thinking "Yeah, this is awesome, oh my god people will LOVE this!". The best example i can offer is "The Decision" by the Young Knives. Some quality lines in that song include

"I'm the Prince of Wales, I'm the Prince of Wales, and if all else fails...I'm the Prince of Wales"

So yeah, Christmas 2010! Where's this bludy year gone? Everyone else, in the world, left this country (except the ones already not in it), and just abandoned me, then there was a tram crash on Corrie. That's basically all I can really remember about it right now!

This time last year I was JUST dropping out of Uni, for reference, read my blog from December 2009! Looking back, it was a good idea, because it was awful. I do miss the people though. However, I have met some LUCKY people this year too, who I probably wouldn't have done had I stayed at Uni! And for the first time in ages, I sort of have a game plan.

Or I could just stay at home writing blogs and playing Scene it with Frankie.

We'll see.

Good Tidings to All, I'm going to leave you with my own version of the 12 days of Christmas:

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME....
Twelve Bummers Bumming
Eleven Daniel Pipers Daniel Piping
Ten Maude's a-leaping (to their deaths from a racing car grand stand)
Nine Nathan's flamboyantly dancing
Eight Johannas Milking (all the attention they can)
Seven Frankies swimming (but telling me not to splash her, get her hair wet, or actually swim properly)
Six Becky Reeces a-wheyyinnng
Five GoldFing....ers
Four Appaling Birds (screaming their heads off in an Italian Resteraunt)
Three French Skanks (namely Jess, Natalie and Dave)
Two Girls 1 Cup
And Sam Rigby in a Bear Tree

This seemed funnier before i started writing it

MERRY CHRISTMAS

xxxx

My world ends tonight...

In many ways, Phatgaykid was a supporting player in our lives. He definately grabbed our attention with memorable catchphrases and comical accents. And whether you noticed him or not, Jonnie, was always there. And we thought...he always would be.

My friends, life is about change...

Until tonight, Jonnie Jenkins, aka Phatgaykid, has kept the likes of myself, Frankie, Rachel, and countless others, entertained with his video blogs via Youtube. Think of him as the Nathan O'leary of youtube- comedy gold. His eccentric personality and high pitched grunts at the end of every sentence made viewing him a real treat for us, and we got countless laughs from it. (Sidenote, if you want to watch his videos before reading on I strongly recommend, California Gurls, The Boy is Mine, Somewhere over the rainbow and Baby)

However, tonight, the "real" Jonnie Jenkins, going by the name of Joshua Lindsey, CRUSHED OUR DREAMS by revealing that Jonnie is, infact, nothing more than a character to heighten awareness of homophobia online. He certainly did that well.

And now I find myself sitting alone, knowing that Rachel and Frankie are sitting along suffering the same mental anguish I am in. I imagine this is what Diana's death was like for the older generation. His videos will NEVER be the same again, knowing his high pitched grunts are a conscious choice as opposed to some kind of flimsy form of tourettes. And his beautiful singing voice, his rapping and acting skills, his accents, ALL LIES. I FEEL CHEATED.

But he did his job, and by GOD he did it well. Viva Jonny Jenkins.

To be fair though, it is called lip balm, not face balm...

Robert. Oh.

It's fun going to parties when you know full well that you're probably going to vomit blood before 8:00.

Basically, that's all I've got to say for today.
Worked until 5AM, tidying stuff at work, it was reasonably entertaining but I was delerious by the end of it all. I don't know if it was the paint fumes, the tiredness, or the clearly not chicken chicken pizza that I had.

Worked all week.
PROPER EXCITING.
Bye xx

You don't slow roast steaks

As Emma pointed out to me, you don't slow roast steaks. Just for the record.

I wish I lived in Chester, it seems really nice. Hopefully I can move there next year for UNIVERSITY, when I eventually decide to go! One of these times I'll stick it out. Remember that time I went to Edge Hill? That was a YEAR ago. Seriously, it feels like 2 months, and I don't particularly have anything to show since I left. I do miss the gang though; and by that, I mean the 4 or 5 people I spoke to. Its weird how much can change in a year if you want it to, but if you're fairly lazy, how little can! That's a well boring story. Samantha Cairns was the best thing that Edge Hill provided me with.

A lot has happened to me since I last wrote; I won the lottery, bought a plane, moved house, married someone who is also rich, and adopted 3000 malawain babies. Why is EVERYONE leaving work? Like, everyone's going! It's not cool guys, get back and STAY BACK.

I think I'm in love with the 2 girls who auditioned for the X Factor last night, the one that decked the other one. If I was to go on the X Factor, that's EXACTLY how I'd audition. With less use of the word "random" and "ohMAHgod". But I'd also say "Who ARE you?" to a judge, and punch my partner in the face for ruining things. Oh, and tell the audience to shut up. What crowd pleasers those girls turned out to be. They both looked like they'd just been to a funeral buffet too, seriously, the pug faced one had crumbs down her top. Make an effort dear, its the X Factor, not Must be the Music.

I went to Southport the other day, to gain the experience of a jetboat once again, but sadly, Rebecca was too gay for speedboats so I just motor boated her instead. I got to drive. :) FOR ONCE.

Johanna's jumped ship to Uni now aswell. I'm going to miss seeing her all the time. Sad. :(
I think I need topics of discussion for these things now, so if anyone has any suggestions, tell me on facebook and I'll begin to mindlessly rant about them on here!

I'm a bit bored now, so I'm going
Night
xx

Destination JAPAN

I don't like to go on. Actually no, I love to go on. Especially when it's about me. But my hands are too fat to type, like Michelle McManus has been stung by several bees, so I'll just bullet point my previous months

• Decided "actually ney, I don't want a 2nd chance at education, I'm just going to stay here and sell shoes for another year"


• Frankie bore a child, Hendrix, he's right adorable


• The Graphics Crew came to a timely demise, for good.


• Natalie and Jess resumed post in FRANCAIS


• Lost ended! BOO!


• Maude Flanders appeared in another Simpsons flashback. AWESOME.


• I turned 20, and spent the morning of my birthday drunk, dressed as Meg Griffin with a Mime, a clown, a gangster, a cow, Freddy Mercury, and David and Josh, dressed as daywalkers, at the Brockett waiting for it to open. Enjoyable.


• I had to bid farewell to Ayler, Nami and Brendan and Akiyo, as they went home to Japan. Sad days, but I like to dwell on the positive. And Skype exists, so its getting better


• I then decided, hang on, Japan is nicer than England, I'm gonna move there in January 2011 me!
  
• Continue to work at JD. New people joined. Mostly good. MOSTLY.

Caught up. Good? I'm sure you'll be able to find me on someones photos in the background looking like a milked cow.

It's bad that 2 years on, I still don't have much to talk about. Everyone else appears to have done something with their lives, but saying that, I'm relatively happy and I'm clearly the Chandler of this little game. So whatever, it'll all work out when I win the lottery. At least 2 years ago we didn't have Jedward: Let Loose. Tuesday at 9 on ITV2.

Currently in life, I'm having a reasonably fun time! I have lovely friends, most of which are laid back and I'm a high maintainence burden. But my charm makes up for it. I lost a few good people this year, but I firmly believe if all is meant to work out, then it will. And as long as everyone's happy doing what they're doing, then so be it :). I basically have a routine set up; Quiz on Monday, Free play (usually work) Tuesday-Thursday; Wigan Friday; Work Saturday-Sunday. That's about as busy as it gets, and as you can see, it doesn't get very busy. I also worked out there's not much point attempting a love life when you're hanging around waiting for something that's never gonna happen, no matter how much it seems like it is at the time. But, look at me, I won't be on the shelf much longer.

I

Am

A

Catch

Do you know what I don't like? The following situations when selling shoes:

• "Can I have this in an 8 AND a 9."
  No- Learn your size. Or get off your stupid face and do some parenting and discover your child's shoe size, or keep your womb emptier next time


• "When you were in the back getting my shoe, taking time out of your day, I saw this other shoe I like better, can I have this one?"
  No- You don't go into a resteraunt, order chicken and then go "ACTUALLY NEY LAD IM GUNT FURT HAVE STEAK INSTEAD." Nobody will put up with your shit, why should I? Granted, I don't slow roast a shoe, but still, have a fucking look around first!


• "Can you feel his toe?"
  No- Refer back to the closage of your womb. Bend the fuck down and do it yourself


• "Do you have this in a size 6 and 2.354? No? Why not?" *Sulks*
  No- What the HELL do you think we have back there? A factory? Am I supposed to make shoes for your ridiculously fussy feet? LEARN TO FIT IN THESE ONES. Or get out.


• "Can I have discount off, these shoes are on display"
  No- They've been on display in a shoe shop. Not a zoo. What's really the worst thing that could have happened to/in this shoe.


• "Do you work here?"
  No- I just tend to walk around JD in a top saying "JD Crew", relacing shoes. I'm the Mother Teresa of the footwear community.


• "You know these shoes on the rack, are they the last ones or do you have more?"
  If you took a second of your time to look upwards, there's a sign saying "Last Few". I'm not your mother, do some investigating.


• "Can you get that shoe there for me" *Nods towards wall*
  It's a big wall pal, wanna narrow that one down?
  
• "Have you got them PTs wiv black"
  Black, is a reasonably popular colour. Come on.

Seriously, I'm a nice person. I'm never going to say ANY of these things to a customer, because I don't want to be punched. But yeah, COME ON.
NIGHT xx

Ps. Welldone Myke for getting out of the country, and doing something.

Also apply this to Natalie, Jess, Rachael, Emma and various other bastards who abandoned me.

WHERE MY DOO RAG AT???

I'm gun beat cho ass on this traaaain

Classic Train Girl. Youtube it! Thanks for that gem Katie Corless :D Good Times

I went to a pub quiz Monday- we managed to get 20 out of 65. Ant said he thought the team might do better with me and Johanna on board- we both dropped out of Uni early in. The only thing we have a degree in is losing. But to be fair, the questions were pretty terrible. Pretty terrible indeed. And one of the rounds didn't make sense- the guy said "The last word from the previous answer will start the next answer". Then one of the questions, the answer was "Cyprus". And the next question was about a Bond film. Useless.

Life is as exciting as ever- Natalie and Jessica return on Monday though, which is fun! I've realised why I still haven't passed my driving test too- ignoring the fact that I haven't booked my test again since September...I don't particularly like it...Strange.

I have a new man crush. On the woman from N-Dubz, Tulisa? I don't know why- maybe its the minor femaleness of her. She's still no Gwaggz though. I have also found a new passion for the game "Lips", despite my horrible horrible voice. I managed to get over 100,000 points on "Push the Button" by the Sugababes. Wow. I should join, they'll probably need a new one soon anyway.

I worked for 9 hours today which was interesting, considering I was only supposed to be doing 2. But I'm a fan of money. Speaking of fans, these Facebook groups are getting ridiculous now. Why would I feel the need to let people know that when i hear the words "Just a small town girl", I sing "Living in a lonely world", or "When I'm upset, I use one word answers". I don't think anyone in the world would benefit from knowing this shit.

Fuck you Facebook, you're becoming Myspace. But more pretentious. Because everyone thinks they're too old for Myspace- but LOOK AT THE SHIT YOU'RE JOINING! Admittedly, some of the funny ones are worth it, even if they don't help anything in my daily life. Anyway yeah, I worked 9 hours with Piper, but thats never a bad thing! Big news Jders- we now have a women's sale rack. Things are really shaping up.

Its wierd that Rachel's only been in London for like 2 days, and I miss her! Sometimes I go weeks without seeing her though- maybe its because I know she's been away...maybe she's bought me a PRESENT. Probably not. I bet Jay gets a present. I want a present.

SOMEBODY BUY ME SOMETHING. Happy Birthday Samantha dear by the way. I'm going back to Edge Hill next week to visit her/you, I'm a little bit excited. I like the bit with the people- not so much the bit with the advertising course though. Or the £4,100 I need to pay back. OOPS. Went back to John Rigby yesterday...I didn't like it at all. It reminded me that I'm not there anymore, and people kept walking past and I didn't know them! I wish we were all back at college...

Anyway, I'm bored of typing now.

Night Night

xxxx

Gwaggz-Mania

Look, its GAGA! But not from last night sadly- impending failures made us not buy tickets to her Fame Ball Tour for whatever reason. Bad times. But everyone's got Gaga (or Gwaggz, as I prefer to call her) mania at the moment, which obviously makes me happy- more people to talk about her with!!!! But I hope all who attended had fun and I hope some people have videos to show me!

In less interesting news, Ke$ha has a new song, but it has nothing to do with me changing my blog around because the black and yellow was hurting my eyes. So welcome to 2010, my "fans". I've been poorly, sort of, for 2 or so days, the last time I was ill i decided to drop out of uni. This time i just opted for rest- its £4,100 cheaper. Apparantly Megan Fox is the sexiest woman alive- I don't really see it myself, she's nothing special is she? I know another M.F who I'd much rather marry. If she hadn't died...

Anyway I REALLY have nothing to write about. Literally nothing exciting has happened to me for a while- I did go out on Friday though with work friends and that was fun times :D, here's a photo from it, just to prove I'm not making it up for psychiatric reasons, like Norman Bates or something. But i assume he had better things to do than pretend he'd gone to Revolution and Lux.

I don't even know 2 of the people on this picture properly. And i look like a woman. As per. My mum forgot who I was the other day, she thought I was my friend Piper on a photo. Granted, this is him:

Even so, you'd still remember which one you gave birth to. I was thinking about school tests today- there's really no point in them is there? Not the GCSE ones, obviously, but like, Y9 MOCK SAT MOCKS 1 and stuff like that. Its an uneccesary waste of everyone's time, and what's the deal with no speaking? I might take over the country and sort things out. And i think i spelled uneccesary wrong too, so they don't even work.

Natalie and Jess returned to WIGGUN on Sunday/Monday which was a lovely treat because I was counting down till March when I get to see them, but they were here! I want to go to Glasgow now though...any offers guyssss???? I keep buying unnecessary amounts of food (I'm sick of the word necessary now, I need a word I know I'm spelling correctly), and leaving it in other people's houses or cars. Never a good idea when you're already 4 grand in debt at 19. But they can't take it away from me! I bought 2 cardigans too, because I'm a granddad. Speaking of children, I wish Frankie's would hurry up, for her sake more than my own...obviously.

Without sounding sexist, I'm glad I'm not a woman. I fully couldn't be arsed with all the maintainance it takes. And I'd rather not whack another person out of me. On that thought, I'm going to go now.

Hope everyone is well, keep in touch!!! xxxx

Get in the bag

JD. The D stands for DRAMA.

So theres this supervisor Emma, right, and she's a total skank. Only kidding, she might be one of the only people who ever reads this blog. So WELLDONE, for your namecheck. You've earned it sugar tits :p
My life is fairly uninteresting, so there's very little point in blogging, but guess what I'm gonna do it anyway! I've decided that this years a bit crappy, so I'm going to just drink until I can't feel feelings anymore from now on! That's the rational way about this, RIGHT? In the past 2 weeks a fair amount has changed, but nothing too interesting. I've had a spring cleanout of gompers in my life, and got rid of them- hopefully this will make things better for me!

NATALIE AND JESS ARE IN SCOTLAND. WTF. But no, I'm happy that they're enjoying themselves and I sort of wish I was doing these things along with them! Who knows, maybe a summer in France is what I need (I understand i said Scotland before- I know the 2 places aren't the same...but these bitches get bored of countries).
So it's Valentines Day on Sunday- how are we spending it? Well I'm spending 9 hours with the love of my life who treats me well, is really open, and knows what music I like. That's right...I'll be at JD. "Love of my life" was sarcasm, for those who think I'm more mental than I actually seem to be right now. Which right now, is fairly insane. Christ knows why. I laughed for 5 minutes at a pen the other day, because it was an unusual shade of green. Bringing the racism to the pen world now. But yeah, single on valentines day, especially when you know the person you wish to be with is with someone else, is quite daunting. But maybe I'll see my wonderful Funbuns and we'll eat the night away!

Speaking of Frankie (Who is funbuns, for those of you who didn't BOTHER to go to school with me), she's right good, and i'm glad that we're spending loads of time together coz we alllwaayys have a RIGHT LAUGH. But we always insult the same few people. By now, you'd think we'd get over it. One of them we haven't seen for about 3 years!


Anyway, yeah, you can see that not much is going on. We went ribbon shopping the other day. This is how all almost 20 year olds live, right? But going on the RAZZ tomorrow night for Piper's birthday! Its either going to be amazing, or really really fucking terrible. Who KNOWS! Not because of Piper. He's good.

BYE

xx

Oh yeah, all the pictues are irrelevant. But didn't they MAKE YOUR DAY! Thanks for the title Katie. Maybe you could tell me what its supposed to mean.

OPEN YO MOOOOOUTTHH!!!

What an exciting weekend! If you're interested in overpriced drinks, Japanese waiters, beautiful ladies, and Graham from Coronation Street, then this is the blog for you! It was Andrea's 20 and a month'th birthday celebrations on Saturday night, and being the only lad doesn't do you any favours when you already look like a woman. It just furthers the conspiricy theory that you are a woman. These are some of the "GIRLIES", shudder, that partook in the evening! You've got your Andreas, your Jess's, your Jodies, your Rachaels, your Natalies, your Emmas, your Robyns, and much more. We went to this Japanese resteraunt, and it was like that one on FRIENDS where Ross and his lesbian wife went, including the food being thrown at us. And fire. See below.

Told you. Anyway, i bought 1 drink there, Vodka and Red Bull. FIVE POUNDS SEVENTY. I dont know where they get off! But somehow Charlotte and Aimee managed to bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "shitfaced" in there, so they must be lightweights or loaded. Anyway, it was an interesting experience, but I don't think i'll be paying to have asian guys screaming OPEN YOU MOOOOOUTHH and throwing potatoes at me anytime soon. But in terms of an "Andrea" thing to do, it was something only she could decide she wanted to do on a night out, which is why we all love her so dearly. After this meal thang, we went to Deansgate. No offense to Wigan, but Deansgate people make Wigan people look like they're on the Hills have eyes. Somehow I managed to get some kind of blood on my back aswell. Or it might be crayon, apparantly. Who knows. Anyway, to sum up. It wer good! So thanks Andrea! I had a nice time getting to know some of the other girls like Charlotte and Jenna a bit better, which is fun. The more the merrier!

Other than that, I basically slept, and then went into Wigan with Piper who didn't fully know how to work entering a shop to his advantage, then we went to a staff meeting which was surprisingly more fun than it sounds. At least the new manager guy seems fair, which is always a good thing. :D

I have nothing else to say, other than some advice. Don't waste your time on people who BLATANTLY ignore you after you try and be civil. Whats the point? 14 year old scene girl time.

You don't know her like i do. 16 years.

Peace all

xxx

Is "Ominous" a compliment?

WHEYY! I'm here again. But this time, i don't have a ridiculous amounts worth of months to fill you in on. Just a day. A very, very adequate day

Me and Frankie went out for dinner today, and when did old people decide it was acceptable to push in? If i did that to you bitch, you'd write in to Crimewatch or something! And she gave me a knowing look too like, "Yeah...i did...and WHAT". She angered me, but then the food unangered me, which is always a plus. I tend to NEVER eat at home these days- I went to this pub today, Frankie and Benny's yesterday, the Brockett the day before that, and the list works backwards! I assume. But, I have cut out McDonalds, KFC and Burger King. Which is good. This allows more room for more expensive food.

Back to the me and Frankie bit, it was nice to spend some quality time with MA GURRRL. And we had a decent chat about stuff! And as ever, I laughed a lot. Always knows how to cheer me up! Then we headed down the social ladder and into Leigh town centre- where we did some shoppings! I bought more clothes. For under a tenner. I like this. But this isn't Facebook- so i can't physically like it. And we looked at christening clothes!!! It's so wierd that in less than a month, Frankie will have spawned a child. Good times!

Then, i didn't get my hair cut again, whoops. I am tomorrow though! I promise. I went to the Swimming baths to watch Ayler do a lesson, but then, i bumped into an old best friend Kelly, and didn't end up watching him at all because i spent about 45 minutes or something catching up and seeing what was going down in McLenahan town! It was wierd discussing the old CAFF crew, because we all now have jobs and responsibilities, and some have moved out, and got cars, etc; its strange to think just 3 years ago we used to smash each other around in a pit of foam...

I have no topic of discussion tonight, but I think Johanna Edgerton deserves a mention for being brilliant. Kiss ass. I think I need to come up with some kind of topic to make these things interesting...any suggestions, let me know! I think I'm just going to mention JD for the rest of this thing, because I didn't give it enough credit last time:

Working at JD Sports has made me more social, albeit a bit chavvier, than I was before, and all the people that work there make me smile lots and lots. Well, the majority. The other ones occasionally make me half smile. It's wierd that when I have issues now, the majority of people I turn to are my co-workers...and vice versa! It's actually, in terms of people, the best shop I could ever want to work in! Viva La JD! And Viva La...Staff. Just you know, don't end up liking co-workers more than friends, because it apparantly never ends very well. And then you get all depressed and stuff. But ya know, what can you do

Anyway, I'm bored, so here's another photo:

Its from when me, Jess, Andrea, Rachael and Jodie went sledging. As you can see, we hit a bush. Quite painfully.

Oh and big up to Josh Connell. You're dead good :D

NIGHT!

Remember when Alexandra Burke wasn't a bitch?

So, 2010 isn't as great as the prophets made it out to be. This is supposed to be the year where celebrities don't die, and the world doesn't end for another 2 years! But so far its just been one big gay drama after another.

But i'm not a 14 year old girl. So i'm not going to write about them here. I have friends to talk to about them- i don't need your pity, whoever you are. Unless your said friends, which you probably are; so PITY ME.

Here's a brief summary of what happened between my last blog and now:

• Lady GaGa live- Epic


• Went to Plymouth for a family members' funeral. The day before my birthday. Had to spend 8 hours on a minibus on my birthday. Not so Epic


• Continued to work at JD Sports- Varies between Epic and Not Very Epic


• Witnessed the breakdown of my friendship circle


• Nami turns 1, Ayler turns 5. Good Times.


• Natalie and Jess return from France. Good Times.


• Started a wonderful new life at Edge Hill University, doing Advertising, where I met Samantha Cairns, Deej, Hattie, and other legends. Good Times.


• Ended my wonderful new life at Edge Hill University, because Johanna told me to. Not really. But that's funnier than the actual reason. Whoops.


• Decided the best people to find attractive were the ones I couldn't have. Several times.


• Spent New Years Eve throwing up on a friend's bathroom floor, before passing out there, then going to work the morning after, exciting.


• Discovered the song "Riverside"

So basically, we're up to speed. Sort of. The other stuff can't of been that interesting if it's not made the list. I'm only writing this blog because a rather unappealing girl's blog came to my attention and it seemed very despIRATE.

I know that's not the right spelling. Don't have a bitch fit. So here's what I want to talk about tonight- the not so successfulness of 2010. That's not a word either, is it.

Although some things are good, such as trips to Frankie and Benny's with my red haired lover from...Orrell, seeing Natalie and Jess, and those other friends that I have, these things all existed in 2009, and we're equally as fun. 2010 just doesn't have the PIZAZZ i expected. It should be more fun than this. This morning i cried for 20 minutes at that Dr Who where he loses Rose. I've seen it like 40 times, there's something wrong with me. I think i might be pregnant or something.

There's really no point to this blog, i'm just bored. And clearly you are too, if you've made it this far. I'm just gonna say it- I love JD. Didn't think I would, coz you know, it's JD. But the people are the best co-workers I could've ever wished for! And the majority of them are now really close friends of mine too, outside of work! If i wasn't at that shop, I'd have gone madder than I am now- and I'm pretty wierd now. I find the episode of the Simpsons where Maude dies, comforting. Imagine if I was still on the dole, I'd probably have a cat called "Mr Purrington" by now that i grossly overfeed to compensate for my own eating problems. What am I even talking about?

I dropped my keyboard just now. That made a big noise. Whoops. Anyway yeah, I got bored so I thought i'd write this- fill yall in and whatnot. So here's the plan for the rest of 2010, to make it better:

• Stop dropping my keyboard


• Join the gym, and stick to it


• Don't kill anyone


• Quality family time


• Go on holiday with some friends


• Stop doing everything Johanna tells me to


• Try and return JD to its good, fun state


• Fix some of these dodgy friendships!

I'm bored now, so I'm going to put a picture up that makes me laugh:

Also, I just found out my old media teacher was on Ready Steady Cook. How about that.

Night all! xxx

Beans Beans the Terrifying Fruit...the more you eat...the more I can't LOOK AT YOU

Who says you have to be in shape to win at Hide and Seek? And who says you can't play Hide and Seek at aged 18? People. Thats who

But because we go AGAINST THE SYSTEM coz were unique and crazeh guys with fantastic social lives, Myself, Chris, Rachel, Frankie and Jay "treated" ourselves to several games of Hide and Seek, Piggy in the Middle, AND Blinds Man Bluff tonight. Who says being a teenager has to be dramatic, those kids in Beverly Hills 90210 could learn a thing or two from us Wigan Lads. It is genuinally fun and mock us if you must, but its a thrill, i swear! So the next time you're given a day off work, put on the dole, or have to endure an art exhibition, treat yourself to a primary school game!!!!

Today we also visited Rachels' Art Exhibition, where me and Jay just took full advantage of the free Wine/free Food gambit, whilst Frankie, Chris and Rachel pretended to give a damn about other peoples art work. After a while, we decided to pretend to care also, but apparantly we had to be civilised, so in my most polite and well spoken voice I kindly asked "What the fuck is that" at a slab of concrete covered in what I can only assume was Crack Cocaine. It is Wigan, after all.

This blog is more of a promotion than a...blog...because Katie Corless, star of the upcoming paragaphs of this blog, introduced me fully to Julia Nunes, the Uke player Youtube sensation who I am going to see live next week along with Katie, Chris and Megan. I have heard the name before from Katie but only now have I fully appreciated her for an ARTISTE. She plays Uke Good. Real Good. The Rest of this Blog will be dedicated to Katie Corless:

Katie Su-Bo Corless was born on a certain date in a certain year, but for the first 14 years of her life, she couldn't help but feel void, like a gap needed to be filled in, something was missing in her life. And sure enough, 1 fateful night at Caff (or possibly one fateful day in the Middle of Wigan I can never really remember...its like the chicken and the egg but....shit), that void was filled. With Me. Not literally, there's really some kind of laws against that stuff. But from that day, a FIRM friendship was made between the 2 of us.

For the next few months, she drifted in and out of my life like a corpse at sea, often making humorous comments about stuff. I remember vaguely her pretending she didn't know Natalie smoked and when I mentioned it, she went "Natalie Smokes?" and i thought I'd destroyed everything. But she knew. Phew. I remember her involvement in my life grew more when she became involved in Graphics Crew Projects around Early 2008, and a trip to Manchester solidified our soon to be BEST FRIENDSHIP. In June 2008, Natalie planned a surprise party for Katie when some friends ruined original plans, RUINED, and myself, along with 3 other people she'd NEVER met, in the forms of Chris, Vickie and Michaela, threw her a party. To which UTTER surprise was conveyed, as can be seen on a video from GC, can't remember which, but she walks into a room and goes "OH MY GOD!" in shock, despite the fact all the party stuff is behind the camera and she just looks like she cant handle the pressure of Room Entrance.

Katie then continued to show up, providing much needed humour and furthering a kleptomanic tendancy that I thought had been repressed, and when Natalie went to Falaraki, myself and Katie bonded thoroughly over MSN on a game called "Jigsaw Too", which consisted of building jigsaws. Again with the thriving social life; but when Natalie left for France i genuinally assumed I wouldn't see much of my wonderful friend! However, we've managed to stay in touch and if anything I would say I am better friends with Katie now than before!!! Viva La Corless is all thats left to say, and with upcoming Gaga-Nunes win, much more will be seen of her!!!!!

Thats All I have to say Tonight. Tomorrow I might post the NOMINATIONS for the 2009 Nafta Awards. Keep voting for the Lifetime Achievement Award!!! xxx

Who slaps a THUNDERSTORM in the middle of JUNE?

Ive not blogged for a while but im all muddled up with what to talk about!

We'll start with the first thing that cropped up into my head: Christopher Holding, Nathan O'leary, Katie Corless and Laura Gill aka Gaga Crew if we ever went on something like Britains Got Talent or something of that like. And it feels right to be back in a G-Crew again...it feels GOOD. I am thoroughly enjoying my more and more regular evenings out with the Gwagz, although they all tend to involve a walk into the Fairy Glen, we need a new activity. Any Suggestions? But the laughs just roll forth and it feels like this wonderful combination was meant to be. I got into a little bit of trouble concerning misunderstood messages this week aswell in the Gwagz crew- whoops. But hopefully come tomorrow it'll all be done and dusted. Speaking of dusting, JD needs a new dustpan and nobody's going to buy one so if you have any laying around, drop them off in store. Really.

But it would not be fair to mention my evenings out with Katie and Laura and not mention my equally exciting, hilarious and fun-filled evenings with my lovely Frankie Kerfoot and Rachel Heard and occasionally Jay. You know- the tall one. And Chris aswell, making the transition between both groups- the player. I went to the pictures last night watching Doghouse with them, and managed to laugh all the way through it thanks to those two. WHEN IN SCHOOL (I Sound like im doing a wedding speech now) and i hung round with them occasionally i never saw them being 2 of my beZZIES 3 years down the line, but boy am I glad they are!!!! Both of them never cease to amaze me, in a similar fashion to Chris, Katie and Laura. Oh and Myke, who i haven't bothered to mention because i NEVER. SEE. HIM. (Take the hint Geel :p).

Next Topic: Star Trek

As we've hopefully established now, im a nerd, but i was never a trekkie. But I went watching Star Trek on Saturday with Chris, Katie, Lil Dave and Michaela, and I loved it! I thought it was dead good, which i expected it to be because of the trailer and the fact its got LOST written all over it with the staff. But i had to laugh every time the Russian one spoke. "Inwincible" isnt even a WORD. I could hear Katie CHORTLING 2 seats down aswell which just made me laugh more. But the highlight of that night was the 10 minutes it took for my good self, Dave and Michaela to strap ourselves into the back of Chris's car after the film. Literally 10 minutes. There was a lot of wiggling and "OW THATS MY LEG" "MOVE" "I CANT DO THIS" going on, and its safe to say a scene was made. All i could think was "If we wer in that film now, and they were trying to save the day, we'd have just killed everyone with these shenanigans".

From Star Trek, to Coronation Street, which I have taken a shine to again now I know Sunita and Karen McDonald are coming back! Ive started 2 watch it again purely to brace myself for their returns...and its actually quite good! I haven't seen it since our Ricky Hillman went mental and played that Romeo and Juliet song before trying to drown everyone. Can you tell I'm just rambling now?

Student Accomodation has to be sorted tomorrow, so wish me luck! Everyone look up "Maggie Roswell" aswell because shes a good good woman. I thought I'd cut down on the Twilight hating tonight because Kelly McGuire told me off. Shes doing a blog too I think so I'll get a link, read it!

On a "Actual Real Life" Sidenote, nothing is really happening, it rained a lot today and there was a thunderstorm, I haven't been fired or anything like that, Ayler and Nami are good, etc etc. Big Up to them both! I think I'm going to do some awards again soon because I had fun! Addicted Episode 1 has been pretty much finished aswell so look out for that on FB/Youtube!!!

Lots of LUV

xxxx

Here's whats SHIT about English People

As you can tell its my "time of the month", and i feel like having a rant!!!!!



Subject Number 1: Susan (I dont know her middle name but i'm going to go for MAUDE) Boyle.

When our lovely Su-Bo waddled onto the Britains Got Talent stage, you could see people in the audience were like "EEEEE" but then she started to sing and they changed her mind. Everyone thought she was gonna be a nutcase but then she was well good at singing, we know that much, but I don't understand why just because of her eyebrows and frumpy dress people assumed she was untalented! Anyway, she was amazing yada yada yada, but then Britain started doing what it always does; turning against people! People trying to be "original" turned around like "Oh I hate Susan Boyle me i always have" just so they had something interesting to discuss over dinner. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but I really don't understand how you can hate a woman who has only walked out onto a stage and given a really good performance of a song! And nobody can deny that shes a good singer, i agree with people who say she isn't the best but she isn't a bad singer is she! People, like myself, fall in love with her because of her story, and how shes overcoming peoples opinions of what she is! People say stuff about her being rubbish now, and its only because the media basically raped her life and people can't escape from her- in a similar way to Jade Goody, people felt sorry for her, but then thought "oh just DIE already so i dont have to see you anymore!" which is terrible! So yeah,this is rant 1, Susan Boyle haters, how would you feel if you did something you loved and people began to rip it to pieces, AND start to insult you on a personal level! Think about it guyzzzzz!



Subject Number 2: People In Relationships


Not specifically Maude Flanders, but this picture is her with Ned and lets face it she had to get a mention in here didn't she! No, British People, teenagers in specific, don't seem to be able to juggle being in a relationship and having friends together! In mind right now, i can think of 2 clear examples of people who manage to do this just fine, and they are Laura Gill and Rachel Heard (seperate relationships, they aint no lezzaaas). I'm sure there'd be more if i thought of them, but I cant right now. It seems to be, get in a relationship, and the time cant be divided (this is now excluding Rachel and Laura by the way), or begin to chase a person, and give the friendships that have always been there up straight away! I'm not writing this with anyone in mind personally, but a friend is having issues with another friend doing this at the minute and I can see exactly where they're coming from, i dont get why people just can't divide their time!!! It makes the friends feel worthless when you're ditched for a new relationship, or even sometimes just for someone their chasing!!!! So yeah, spare a thought for your friends guyz. So we've covered Su-Bo and Relationships. Where next





Subject Number 3: Twilight

I dont know if after my Su-Bo rant, this makes me seem a bit hypocritical, but i'm not slagging off the acting or anything like that and I'm sure the books are fine. But I cannot see the MASSIVE obsession with this film! How was it remotely special...or actually, how was it remotely good? It seemed to me like it was a generic vampire film where the girl falls for the vampire and then a bad guy gets involved. The script was hardly epic aswell, i can't think of any memorable quotes. Oh and a tip to the writers, try to make your protagonist (I CANT SPELL THIS WORD OK IM NOT TRYNA BE JOHNNY FILMMAKER HERE) LIKEABLE! The girl in this film was a BITCH! Infact, ironically, I didn't realise this until now, but she falls into the realms of Rant Subject 2! These nice people at that school see this girl whos new, and try their best to make friends with her but shes still well gloomy and stuff. And then as soon as Cedric friggin Diggory rolls up she ditches them all! I don't want to seem like the obsessive Buffy Fan, but when it comes to Vampires im sorry but there's no beating the Storylines and Writing of the Tv Series! Maybe the developments of the next few films will surprise me and I might enjoy twilight, but the first film didn't wow me remotely!

Right I think thats enough ranting for one night, I'm also not a fan of overly vain people, but lets look on the positive side of things, I got some sun on my self today! but now im burned! CANT WIN CAN I! Only joking, im not going 2 turn into some sourfaced old bastard but I decided 2 get some stuff off my chest. I wish to talk about "Addicted" also, so I will:

ADDICTED is a Comedy-Drama "WebSeries" written by my very good friends Chris Holding and Frankie Kerfoot, and also myself. The facebook group is: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=106408729477&ref=ts and we would be grateful if you joined. No episodes have been released yet because we're waiting to film 1 final scene for Ep1, but hopefully it'll be done before the end of this week! And a promotional video is hopefully going 2 get made soon aswell, so await dear viewer(s).

Thats pretty much it for 2night! xxxx