It's so difficult to write these things when there is literally NOTHING happening in your life...but i'll give it a crack!You know when's a good time to cut all your hair off? ANY TIME BUT THE COLDEST TIME OF YEAR. Also, hats now make me look like an unfortunately proportioned child.
Winter 2010, it's alright I guess. Snow is a pain in the arse though isn't it girls! I've come to the conclusion that the more magical something looks, the more likely you are to die in/because of it. For example, "Wow (insert a friend's name of your own choosing here), look at that mythical dragon over there!", and the next thing you're on fire. Or like, a mystical looking man with a long flowing beard and a cape- less likely to take you under his caring wing and more likely to rape, beat and kill you, leaving you in an alleyway. So you know, heed my words, avoid the elderly and dragons...and snow.
I had a fun Mad Friday. I've always avoided going into Wigan on mad friday because i have this irrational phobia of being murdered outside of Bentleys coz i loked at someones "bird" funny. But this year I thought, its worth the RISK, because I'm really, really bored. So i dolls myself up, meet Mel and Laura, and everything is going swimmingly. And then Jack Frost just fucks everything up doesn't he! But to be fair, I did the following things
- Tried cherry beer
- Danced in the snow
- Made it into someone's bedroom
- Got slightly drunk
- Danced in the street
- Tried to stop cars to give us a lift
- Phoned for a taxi
- Bought someone some "going home" food
- Got a free sausage
- Stood covered in snow at a bus stop in an unfamiliar place, alone
And I didn't even make it to Wigan! All these things are basically what I do anyway, but usually there's a lot more "AAHAHGHGH" and then "BLEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH", and sometimes, apparantly, I lick people's foreheads....
I went furt Franco's last night, and there was some noisy bitch on her works do. You can take the girl out of Wigan...but you'll still fucking hear her there. The meal was nice, and I discovered some fascinating trivia about a group of 30 somethings that are clearly past the point of screaming "SAMBUCA!" at waitresses. Seriously, we would have had a classier evening at a Gypsy Hen Do.
I have another complaint about JD! Who the HELL decides what music goes on that Mp3 thing? It's really, REALLY bad. Like, who actually writes those songs thinking "Yeah, this is awesome, oh my god people will LOVE this!". The best example i can offer is "The Decision" by the Young Knives. Some quality lines in that song include
"I'm the Prince of Wales, I'm the Prince of Wales, and if all else fails...I'm the Prince of Wales"
So yeah, Christmas 2010! Where's this bludy year gone? Everyone else, in the world, left this country (except the ones already not in it), and just abandoned me, then there was a tram crash on Corrie. That's basically all I can really remember about it right now!
This time last year I was JUST dropping out of Uni, for reference, read my blog from December 2009! Looking back, it was a good idea, because it was awful. I do miss the people though. However, I have met some LUCKY people this year too, who I probably wouldn't have done had I stayed at Uni! And for the first time in ages, I sort of have a game plan.
Or I could just stay at home writing blogs and playing Scene it with Frankie.
We'll see.
Good Tidings to All, I'm going to leave you with my own version of the 12 days of Christmas:
ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME....
Twelve Bummers Bumming
Eleven Daniel Pipers Daniel Piping
Ten Maude's a-leaping (to their deaths from a racing car grand stand)
Nine Nathan's flamboyantly dancing
Eight Johannas Milking (all the attention they can)
Seven Frankies swimming (but telling me not to splash her, get her hair wet, or actually swim properly)
Six Becky Reeces a-wheyyinnng
Five GoldFing....ers
Four Appaling Birds (screaming their heads off in an Italian Resteraunt)
Three French Skanks (namely Jess, Natalie and Dave)
Two Girls 1 Cup
And Sam Rigby in a Bear Tree
This seemed funnier before i started writing it
MERRY CHRISTMAS
xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment