Beans Beans the Terrifying Fruit...the more you eat...the more I can't LOOK AT YOU

Who says you have to be in shape to win at Hide and Seek? And who says you can't play Hide and Seek at aged 18? People. Thats who

But because we go AGAINST THE SYSTEM coz were unique and crazeh guys with fantastic social lives, Myself, Chris, Rachel, Frankie and Jay "treated" ourselves to several games of Hide and Seek, Piggy in the Middle, AND Blinds Man Bluff tonight. Who says being a teenager has to be dramatic, those kids in Beverly Hills 90210 could learn a thing or two from us Wigan Lads. It is genuinally fun and mock us if you must, but its a thrill, i swear! So the next time you're given a day off work, put on the dole, or have to endure an art exhibition, treat yourself to a primary school game!!!!

Today we also visited Rachels' Art Exhibition, where me and Jay just took full advantage of the free Wine/free Food gambit, whilst Frankie, Chris and Rachel pretended to give a damn about other peoples art work. After a while, we decided to pretend to care also, but apparantly we had to be civilised, so in my most polite and well spoken voice I kindly asked "What the fuck is that" at a slab of concrete covered in what I can only assume was Crack Cocaine. It is Wigan, after all.

This blog is more of a promotion than a...blog...because Katie Corless, star of the upcoming paragaphs of this blog, introduced me fully to Julia Nunes, the Uke player Youtube sensation who I am going to see live next week along with Katie, Chris and Megan. I have heard the name before from Katie but only now have I fully appreciated her for an ARTISTE. She plays Uke Good. Real Good. The Rest of this Blog will be dedicated to Katie Corless:

Katie Su-Bo Corless was born on a certain date in a certain year, but for the first 14 years of her life, she couldn't help but feel void, like a gap needed to be filled in, something was missing in her life. And sure enough, 1 fateful night at Caff (or possibly one fateful day in the Middle of Wigan I can never really remember...its like the chicken and the egg but....shit), that void was filled. With Me. Not literally, there's really some kind of laws against that stuff. But from that day, a FIRM friendship was made between the 2 of us.

For the next few months, she drifted in and out of my life like a corpse at sea, often making humorous comments about stuff. I remember vaguely her pretending she didn't know Natalie smoked and when I mentioned it, she went "Natalie Smokes?" and i thought I'd destroyed everything. But she knew. Phew. I remember her involvement in my life grew more when she became involved in Graphics Crew Projects around Early 2008, and a trip to Manchester solidified our soon to be BEST FRIENDSHIP. In June 2008, Natalie planned a surprise party for Katie when some friends ruined original plans, RUINED, and myself, along with 3 other people she'd NEVER met, in the forms of Chris, Vickie and Michaela, threw her a party. To which UTTER surprise was conveyed, as can be seen on a video from GC, can't remember which, but she walks into a room and goes "OH MY GOD!" in shock, despite the fact all the party stuff is behind the camera and she just looks like she cant handle the pressure of Room Entrance.

Katie then continued to show up, providing much needed humour and furthering a kleptomanic tendancy that I thought had been repressed, and when Natalie went to Falaraki, myself and Katie bonded thoroughly over MSN on a game called "Jigsaw Too", which consisted of building jigsaws. Again with the thriving social life; but when Natalie left for France i genuinally assumed I wouldn't see much of my wonderful friend! However, we've managed to stay in touch and if anything I would say I am better friends with Katie now than before!!! Viva La Corless is all thats left to say, and with upcoming Gaga-Nunes win, much more will be seen of her!!!!!

Thats All I have to say Tonight. Tomorrow I might post the NOMINATIONS for the 2009 Nafta Awards. Keep voting for the Lifetime Achievement Award!!! xxx

Who slaps a THUNDERSTORM in the middle of JUNE?

Ive not blogged for a while but im all muddled up with what to talk about!

We'll start with the first thing that cropped up into my head: Christopher Holding, Nathan O'leary, Katie Corless and Laura Gill aka Gaga Crew if we ever went on something like Britains Got Talent or something of that like. And it feels right to be back in a G-Crew again...it feels GOOD. I am thoroughly enjoying my more and more regular evenings out with the Gwagz, although they all tend to involve a walk into the Fairy Glen, we need a new activity. Any Suggestions? But the laughs just roll forth and it feels like this wonderful combination was meant to be. I got into a little bit of trouble concerning misunderstood messages this week aswell in the Gwagz crew- whoops. But hopefully come tomorrow it'll all be done and dusted. Speaking of dusting, JD needs a new dustpan and nobody's going to buy one so if you have any laying around, drop them off in store. Really.

But it would not be fair to mention my evenings out with Katie and Laura and not mention my equally exciting, hilarious and fun-filled evenings with my lovely Frankie Kerfoot and Rachel Heard and occasionally Jay. You know- the tall one. And Chris aswell, making the transition between both groups- the player. I went to the pictures last night watching Doghouse with them, and managed to laugh all the way through it thanks to those two. WHEN IN SCHOOL (I Sound like im doing a wedding speech now) and i hung round with them occasionally i never saw them being 2 of my beZZIES 3 years down the line, but boy am I glad they are!!!! Both of them never cease to amaze me, in a similar fashion to Chris, Katie and Laura. Oh and Myke, who i haven't bothered to mention because i NEVER. SEE. HIM. (Take the hint Geel :p).

Next Topic: Star Trek

As we've hopefully established now, im a nerd, but i was never a trekkie. But I went watching Star Trek on Saturday with Chris, Katie, Lil Dave and Michaela, and I loved it! I thought it was dead good, which i expected it to be because of the trailer and the fact its got LOST written all over it with the staff. But i had to laugh every time the Russian one spoke. "Inwincible" isnt even a WORD. I could hear Katie CHORTLING 2 seats down aswell which just made me laugh more. But the highlight of that night was the 10 minutes it took for my good self, Dave and Michaela to strap ourselves into the back of Chris's car after the film. Literally 10 minutes. There was a lot of wiggling and "OW THATS MY LEG" "MOVE" "I CANT DO THIS" going on, and its safe to say a scene was made. All i could think was "If we wer in that film now, and they were trying to save the day, we'd have just killed everyone with these shenanigans".

From Star Trek, to Coronation Street, which I have taken a shine to again now I know Sunita and Karen McDonald are coming back! Ive started 2 watch it again purely to brace myself for their returns...and its actually quite good! I haven't seen it since our Ricky Hillman went mental and played that Romeo and Juliet song before trying to drown everyone. Can you tell I'm just rambling now?

Student Accomodation has to be sorted tomorrow, so wish me luck! Everyone look up "Maggie Roswell" aswell because shes a good good woman. I thought I'd cut down on the Twilight hating tonight because Kelly McGuire told me off. Shes doing a blog too I think so I'll get a link, read it!

On a "Actual Real Life" Sidenote, nothing is really happening, it rained a lot today and there was a thunderstorm, I haven't been fired or anything like that, Ayler and Nami are good, etc etc. Big Up to them both! I think I'm going to do some awards again soon because I had fun! Addicted Episode 1 has been pretty much finished aswell so look out for that on FB/Youtube!!!

Lots of LUV

xxxx

Here's whats SHIT about English People

As you can tell its my "time of the month", and i feel like having a rant!!!!!



Subject Number 1: Susan (I dont know her middle name but i'm going to go for MAUDE) Boyle.

When our lovely Su-Bo waddled onto the Britains Got Talent stage, you could see people in the audience were like "EEEEE" but then she started to sing and they changed her mind. Everyone thought she was gonna be a nutcase but then she was well good at singing, we know that much, but I don't understand why just because of her eyebrows and frumpy dress people assumed she was untalented! Anyway, she was amazing yada yada yada, but then Britain started doing what it always does; turning against people! People trying to be "original" turned around like "Oh I hate Susan Boyle me i always have" just so they had something interesting to discuss over dinner. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but I really don't understand how you can hate a woman who has only walked out onto a stage and given a really good performance of a song! And nobody can deny that shes a good singer, i agree with people who say she isn't the best but she isn't a bad singer is she! People, like myself, fall in love with her because of her story, and how shes overcoming peoples opinions of what she is! People say stuff about her being rubbish now, and its only because the media basically raped her life and people can't escape from her- in a similar way to Jade Goody, people felt sorry for her, but then thought "oh just DIE already so i dont have to see you anymore!" which is terrible! So yeah,this is rant 1, Susan Boyle haters, how would you feel if you did something you loved and people began to rip it to pieces, AND start to insult you on a personal level! Think about it guyzzzzz!



Subject Number 2: People In Relationships


Not specifically Maude Flanders, but this picture is her with Ned and lets face it she had to get a mention in here didn't she! No, British People, teenagers in specific, don't seem to be able to juggle being in a relationship and having friends together! In mind right now, i can think of 2 clear examples of people who manage to do this just fine, and they are Laura Gill and Rachel Heard (seperate relationships, they aint no lezzaaas). I'm sure there'd be more if i thought of them, but I cant right now. It seems to be, get in a relationship, and the time cant be divided (this is now excluding Rachel and Laura by the way), or begin to chase a person, and give the friendships that have always been there up straight away! I'm not writing this with anyone in mind personally, but a friend is having issues with another friend doing this at the minute and I can see exactly where they're coming from, i dont get why people just can't divide their time!!! It makes the friends feel worthless when you're ditched for a new relationship, or even sometimes just for someone their chasing!!!! So yeah, spare a thought for your friends guyz. So we've covered Su-Bo and Relationships. Where next





Subject Number 3: Twilight

I dont know if after my Su-Bo rant, this makes me seem a bit hypocritical, but i'm not slagging off the acting or anything like that and I'm sure the books are fine. But I cannot see the MASSIVE obsession with this film! How was it remotely special...or actually, how was it remotely good? It seemed to me like it was a generic vampire film where the girl falls for the vampire and then a bad guy gets involved. The script was hardly epic aswell, i can't think of any memorable quotes. Oh and a tip to the writers, try to make your protagonist (I CANT SPELL THIS WORD OK IM NOT TRYNA BE JOHNNY FILMMAKER HERE) LIKEABLE! The girl in this film was a BITCH! Infact, ironically, I didn't realise this until now, but she falls into the realms of Rant Subject 2! These nice people at that school see this girl whos new, and try their best to make friends with her but shes still well gloomy and stuff. And then as soon as Cedric friggin Diggory rolls up she ditches them all! I don't want to seem like the obsessive Buffy Fan, but when it comes to Vampires im sorry but there's no beating the Storylines and Writing of the Tv Series! Maybe the developments of the next few films will surprise me and I might enjoy twilight, but the first film didn't wow me remotely!

Right I think thats enough ranting for one night, I'm also not a fan of overly vain people, but lets look on the positive side of things, I got some sun on my self today! but now im burned! CANT WIN CAN I! Only joking, im not going 2 turn into some sourfaced old bastard but I decided 2 get some stuff off my chest. I wish to talk about "Addicted" also, so I will:

ADDICTED is a Comedy-Drama "WebSeries" written by my very good friends Chris Holding and Frankie Kerfoot, and also myself. The facebook group is: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=106408729477&ref=ts and we would be grateful if you joined. No episodes have been released yet because we're waiting to film 1 final scene for Ep1, but hopefully it'll be done before the end of this week! And a promotional video is hopefully going 2 get made soon aswell, so await dear viewer(s).

Thats pretty much it for 2night! xxxx

Gilligans Island

LAURA JAYNE GILL

1990-Present

Whether you got a handjob from her at a bus-stop, or you threw a drink down her dressed as a bumblebee, or sat next to her in Y9 art after the Art Teacher called her fat and moved her into your class, you'll know Laura Gill when you see her.

That is, if you do see her. At 3 Feet 9, she is the smallest person in Haydock, nay Europe. And i've been to the CIRCUS. Moving swiftly on, Laura Gill manages to brighten your depressing little lives with her off colour humour, her off colour tan and her humourous dole-enducing appedicitis. So this blog is dedicated to honouring her!

I've had many a fun time with this girl, probably starting in school, but all i can really remember from her in school is us making fun of people bigger than us behind their backs, and teachers thinking my reputation was being dragged down by my tagging on to her crowd. And then when we left school, our friendship "ended" when we didn't speak for about 2 years. But it was some other girls fault, for being a blatant liar!!!! And then 1 song, popular in the 60s or 70's dragged us back together.

That song was Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, which Laura one day popped up on MSN (we'd spoken a few times and she told me she could drive which was a lie!) and sent it to me. And after that, we both listened to it on repeat for about a week. And it still stands as my most played song on Itunes! Laura and my goodself then at some point arranged to go round Wigan, her first time EVER, and I took her to PADA, good old Pada. And then we were back on track!

For the next year and a half (bringing us to now) she proceeded to hang around me like a bad smell, popping up on MSN to talk about Two Pints or specifically, Kelly, from Two Pints, the then nations "Susan Boyle of 2008". In this time, she gave me many a lol, including a time we patrolled the streets of Manchester at Gay Pride together, making fun of the many kings and queens we came across. Not literally. Infact i think I may have blogged about that in the past!!!!

She's always been a REAL pal to me, and with upcoming Gaga-age, our friendship will never end! In all seriousness she is a wonderful LITTLE woman, and a very good friend to me! So welldone Laura Gill, and heres hoping you dont get hit by a tram or something before the 28th of June. She has budgies or something too.

In a non-Laura-Gill topic, Susan Boyle came 2nd on BGT. Which is fair do's coz Diversity wer really good, and Boyle will have an album out in about a week. Plus she was namechecked on a Simpsons Promo, so shes in the same league as Maude Flanders now! Today i worked at JD. Exciting. it was fun today actually, had a good ol' time!!!

Going 2 bed now! Nighty Night, Thanks for reading. For more on Laura Gill, type "Laura Gill" into Facebook, or watch Crimewatch. xxx

Darren can't do games today...as he is dead.

Tonight, I saw a film, as i recall it was a horror film.

Thats right kiddos, i watched "Tormented" at the cinema avec Frankie and Rachel, despite the fact 4 days ago i said "NO IM NOT WATCHING THIS FILM AT THE CINEMA". Well to be fair, until i got to the ticket desk and heard Frankie ask for 3 tickets for "Tormented", i was fully under the impression i was going watching Ben Stiller's hilarious sequel, "Night at the Museum 2". But as much as I hate to admit it, I thourougly enjoyed it! It turned out to be more comedy than horror, and the villain was ridiculous. So thanks for deceiving me girls, it turned out to be the funnest deception since that time Maude Flanders PRETENDED to be dead for 9 years.

Speaking of coming back from the dead, talks about a new Buffy Movie have arisen. Yey for me right? POSSIBLY. Because no Gellar, no Hannigan, no Brendon, no Benson, etc, and possibly worst of all: no Whedon! It's basically being reinvented by people who have been involved throughout its run from original 1992 movie through the series. But i still can't decide whether it will ruin the series for me! I am excited to see it though, so alls gravy AS OF YET. If they cast like, her from highschool musical who flashed her tits all over the internet, then i wont be too happy. But we'll see wont we. And yes, this IS the kind of thing i care about.

TODAY i went to the Party and Play Funhouse with Ayler and Nami, also my mum and Akiyo, and although it was packed i still ended up on the slide. Which i didn't hate. Except for when i sort of rolled down it. And Aylers getting into Pokemon, and we've been playing Pokemon Green on the gameboy, which i hate to say is becoming addicted. I feel like its Y6 again! Anyway its time to bed, have to be up in 8 hours to prepare for a drivey driving lesson. And by prepare, i mean get dressed.

xxxx

Good GRAVY it's been a while!

My name's Nathan O'leary and I haven't blogged in about 8 months

Thankyou for sharing, Nathan. Take a seat

How things change in 8 months!!! We'll start with the most important: Thomas the Tank Engine is OVER, and Ben 10 now rules the O'leary roost, specifically Alien Force. I myself am a fan of "Echo Echo", but Ayler much prefers "Goop". Nami just likes to bite on the corners of books, but at 8 months old (8 months old already!) what can you expect? And she also can say "Gok", following the trait of O'leary children's strange obsessions with Gok Wan.

Aside from this, I managed to land myself a job at the one, the only, JD Sports, shovelling footwear off to anyone i can force into buying it. I've even found myself buying some of the stuff in there, which, considering I only applied because Tickle did and i dont think I'd stepped in a JD since I was about 6 before applying, is pretty "exciting". So yes, no more dole, and it's the best feeling EVER! Actually the second best, after going into the dole and telling them you've landed a job!

Friendship wise, I'm finding myself with less and less friends everytime I look! Not in a "eurgh we hate Nathan" way (hopefully), but more and more people continue to leave my life (or sometimes the COUNTRY, NATALIE CORLESS AND JESSICA HOWELL; we'll get onto this soon), but I can still rely on the Chris', the Frankies, the Mykes, the Rachels, the Laura Gills, the Pauls, the Katies of the world to keep me sane and entertained, or my new word; sanetertained. I just made it up.

Speaking of sanity, I seem to be lacking it dearly of late. My obsession with Maude Flanders has turned from "unhealthy" to "dangerous", I've found myself watching episodes with her in to soothe me to sleep. As I said to Liam the other night during a 6:00 AM heated discussion between myself, him, and Emma after some horrifically dodgy takeaway and Chav Pingu, "I don't fancy her or anything, I respect her too much". I don't know if that makes me less of a pervert, or more.

There's much I want to talk about! I forgot about blogging, and how fun it is! It's just ALL ABOUT ME! I want to talk about the hideously disgraceful family i served at work today. I finished at 1:00 and they trapsed in at about 12:40 and started bombarding me with questions about K-Swiss shoes. For you're entertainment, i've written it as if it were a play. A REALLY shit one.

Elderly Chav Nan: ERE RIGHT CAN I HAVE THESE IN A 2

Me: Let me have a look- these ones only start in a 3

Elderly Chav Nan (ECN for short): SO U DONT HAVE UM IN A 2

Me: No, they start in a 3

ECN: Not a 2?

Me: No, 3

Shockingly WideFaced Mum (SWFM for short): HERE CAN I GET THESE ONES IN A 3 FOR HIM (she had 3 sons, 1 aged 12, despite the fact she couldn't of been older than 24, 25 at a push)

Me: Yes

(Nathan trundles off to get the shoes, as Piper hides from the family so they dont ask him for any more shoes)

Basically i bring 1 pair out, for 1 kid, they buy them, another pair for the young lad, they buy them, then this 12 year old who had been dragged up backwards through a Jeremy Kyle Special, starts to CRY because he wants the shoes we DONT have. He tries a size 3 air max on, and cries more because they"dont fit" despite the fact they obviously do, he just couldn't be arsed putting them on properly. So i go and get a 4, its about 10 to 1 now and i can see Burger King in the distance luring me over. He tries the 4 on and cries again because "he can feel a lump on his toe", so i go and get the 4 in the K-Swiss and he says "they're ok", but because his mum CHUCKLES, he cries AGAIN and throws the shoe at me! So i just took them down to the front of the shop and beat him down with a shoe filler. I wish. I had 2 grin and bear it.

RANT OVER!

Now, where was I. I'm going to hold a "Return to Blogspot" award ceremony to fill in some gaps of my life

Best Christening of 2009: Ayler and Nami's in January. Also counts as "only Christening of 2009"

Funniest Radio Station: Bailrigg Fm, for reading out pretty much anything Me, Myke, Katie, Bob, Megan, Chris and Michaela email in saying.

Best Cartoon Character: It has to be Maude Flanders. It just has to be. For helping me sleep at night

Most Inspirational Person: I've become a big fan of Susan Boyle's, because I'm a sheep and i like what she stands for

Shocking Death of 2009: Andy Hallett AKA Lorne from Angel, may he rest in peace

Funnest Filming: The first day of filming "addicted", before it got a bit tedious

Shocking Exit of 2009: Natalie and Jess, for leaving the country to work in France for 8 months!

Best Place of Work: I'm gonna have to say JD but i do rather enjoy my Pie Job still

Best Detonation of a Hydrogen Bomb of 2009: Despite Korea's best efforts, its going to have to go to Juliet Burke of "LOST" fame

Easy to Talk to Award: Myke to the Geeleher who listens to all my rants and as far as I know doesn't just scroll past them and says "yeah"

Homewrecker Award: Ben 10, for destroying Thomas' stellar reputation in the O'leary house

Best Singer: I have to go with Gaga, because I'm going seeing her live in June!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully i'll continue to blog and they wont be as ridiculously LONG as this 1! xxxx You stay classy San Diego